being in the letting go

it is getting easier
i think.
i didn't feel like i was going to throw up, or faint. i didn't find myself staring at a can of espresso coffee for an eternity while other shoppers maneuvered their carts around me.
i remembered us playing in the aisles of the grocery store, you pushing the cart and jumping on the back and riding it to see how far you could go,
 i remembered without wanting to cry.
not one tear came to my eyes.
i did not remember us stealing kisses in the frozen food section while none was watching,
i didn't remember the way you so enjoyed picking up cheeses, just the right ones.
i didn't remember the lies,
i didnt feel betrayed,
or lost.
i didnt remember our last time in this store, silently walking through like two ghosts, without a word to say to one another.
only once did i begin to crumble, but i didn't feel like i couldn't breathe.
i can breathe.
i can smile, and talk to the cashier, and find another form of payment when my card won't go through.
i can do this.
it is getting easier,
i think.