being in the letting go

it is getting easier
i think.
i didn't feel like i was going to throw up, or faint. i didn't find myself staring at a can of espresso coffee for an eternity while other shoppers maneuvered their carts around me.
i remembered us playing in the aisles of the grocery store, you pushing the cart and jumping on the back and riding it to see how far you could go,
 i remembered without wanting to cry.
not one tear came to my eyes.
i did not remember us stealing kisses in the frozen food section while none was watching,
i didn't remember the way you so enjoyed picking up cheeses, just the right ones.
i didn't remember the lies,
i didnt feel betrayed,
or lost.
i didnt remember our last time in this store, silently walking through like two ghosts, without a word to say to one another.
only once did i begin to crumble, but i didn't feel like i couldn't breathe.
i can breathe.
i can smile, and talk to the cashier, and find another form of payment when my card won't go through.
i can do this.
it is getting easier,
i think.

Wow what a moon phase this has been!

“If I don’t stop and reflect on what’s happened,
But get lost in creating and controlling the action,
I won’t learn the lessons or see the wisdom,
That leads to my healing and soul evolution.” ~ Kaypcha

This is what this whole moon phase has been, Mercury in retrograde and all! We have been re- visiting, re- assessing, re alizing!  

Its Feb 26:

New Moon in Pisces  is coming !  Interesting week! Mercury stays still and then goes DIRECT! Mars, stays still before retrograding and Neptune stays still before retrograding. Three planets in one weekend staying still.... hmmmmm  

New Moon is finishing, completing.  Planets are stopping, others are moving... a lot of Stopping and Starting has created much forward and back, forward and back.... Theres so much going on! 

WE have been MEETING OUR Boundaries. OUr relationships, events, experiences , have been coming up for us to SEE our boundaries. How far can I go, Where do I go now? 

Right now, we are called to " put on the brakes " for a moment.  The revisiting , etc is coming to a stop. Time to go INWARD. There are no answers outside of ourselves. Time to QUIET THE MIND. RECEIVE. GO INWARD.  Exhale, Let go.  

We have been letting go, all from the Full Moon to now- but now we let go of all thinking, let go of all perceptions, let go of getting caught up in the stories we have told ourselves. 

PROBLEMS, which are not problems, but lessons, are now to be resolved through different ways of BEING, different Vibrations.  

We are CALLED TO be aware of this, because , as we take a moment to get out of our heads, BREATHING, EXHALING....... we are preparing . 

Preparing for what direction we choose to go in.

Research, learn, do the work. 

New Moon GO INWARD, and then, in the mists of seeming chaos, be still and trust, and take a step 

right into your amazing exploration of  your life. 

**** This is IMPORTANT>    It is TIME to clear out the subconscious, the belief systems that are guiding you where you go and who you meet and what goes on. There is RIGHT ACTION, 

and it comes from your INNER WORKINGS! 

The Old adage, THINK BEFORE YOU DO, is now,  SUSPEND YOUR THINKING. QUIET THE CHATTERING MIND.   We have done our revisiting . WE have taken the necessary step backward. Before we leap forward, we just need to take a breath, a BIG Inhale, and hold the energy of all that breath. Let the knowing percolate. Let the LETTING GO of your categorizing, analyzing mind processes.  ONLY THEN, will the " problems " be " solved" in new ways, in new vibrations, and they will simply no longer be problems.  

This can be challenging for sure. Patterns of behavior, patterns of thinking and doing can be tough to let go. The only way is to go into those places within, way deep down inside the very crevices in your inner caverns.   Maybe like myself, you have been doing this all month. Oh Man what a month it has been! Thinking, discovering truths, being blasted with info, dreaming wild dreams....  Take a breather, Literally. Take a BREATHER.  BREATHE in SUSPEND the Breath, and the 

EXHALE. it is time for the EXHALE! Feel the Still point at the very bottom of the exhale. The void the stillness the place of zee point before the breath expands again in the Inhale.  

Ahhhhhh  ......... Good stuff. 

Tracey's website:

http://www.physicalwizdom.com

I am giving a workshop on Subliminal Affirmations , April 5 at Masjah Center, East Harwich 

call 508-292-6131 

to reserve your space. 

I am available for private sessions and distant hearings  

Glimmers of Hope.

The following is a selection from an email sent out to those contributing to Project All Love In to help families in need. If you would like to get on that list, please visit my website www.physicalwizdom.com or send me your email. thank you!

We all hear the stories- the disturbing ones about how children are raised, how the world is so cruel, and how difficult it can be to protect our kids; instill values that seem to be fleeting. 

More than one or two people I talk to have shaken their heads in sadness about our present state of affairs. We can turn on our televisions , or listen to radios, or read about bullying and abuse and the lack of compassion. We live in  a society where children are alone, making their own meals, coming home to empty homes because the parent/ parents are at work. This is not our fault, really, I am doing this too, but there is just something about this...

Yet, in the tiny places, the magical moments, and probably happening more than we realize or are led to believe,

there are good old fashioned postcard picture worthy scenes of families caring and loving each other.

As I was driving home the other day, I became aware that I was about to be behind a school bus. Oh No, I thought, I am stuck behind this bus. 

And I was, but I also was about to witness a beautiful scene, and be blessed with a gift.

The bus stopped twice before making its way up a hill and coming to the next stop. I turned to notice at least 10 mothers, some with other children, waiting at the edge of the road. They were laughing and smiling and looking at the bus in happy anticipation.

Wow. Is this a cape cod thing? All these moms able to be here to greet their children off the bus! Perhaps this type of thing is happening in many many places!

The magical scene continued , as the kids got off the bus and ran to their moms. There were hugs and laughter. There were school papers being shown, and smiles of support and compassion between the moms. 

And then, everyone began to disperse, moving toward their cars, or walking down the street, all the while, hugging and waving.

I grabbed my phone for  a picture , being completely immersed in this moment, but the beep of the car behind me brought me back and I realized the bus had moved on, and I was holding up the cars behind me!!!

I took this pic, but it does not come close to capturing the moment.

Hats off to parents who are making the effort, juggling their lives and choosing to make children a priority. 

Even if we do not have children, let us just be grateful for this, as the world's future is riding on those buses.

angel wings

The mystery of life. Powerful, amazing, and oh so tenuous at the same time.  The medical field and science can only go so far in defining, explaining and participating in the birth, and death of physical life, and certainly have a long way to go in exploring the spirituality, meaning, symbolism, and divine reasoning of it.
Through years of research and experiences, I wanted to share some thoughts.  Perhaps they resonate , perhaps not- we all find what best aligns with our beliefs and what we know in our hearts.

It is my understanding that we choose our parents before we are conceived. We make this choice based on lessons we are going to learn, our purpose in this life, and soul contracts we have made. We do not fully " come in " while in the womb- our spirit selves are expansive sparks of divinity and move in and out while preparing for life in a physical body. We are born with such a vast understanding and yet are a bit stunned and confused as our expansive divine selves fully come into physical life and meet the energy of this plane of existence. Many experts believe that our very first reaction of our energy meeting the energy of the world can be an indicator of how we react and process later in life.
We come in with gifts and purpose. The timing of our arrival is perfectly timed, even if it seems that it is not.
Sometimes a soul " decides" that it will not physically come into the world. Perhaps the soul purpose is achieved in the womb. Perhaps the gifts of this beautiful spirit are given while in the womb; perhaps there is a purpose beyond what we can understand. Remembering that these souls are tuned into a vast knowing, we may be able to better grasp the concept that perhaps it just wasn't time yet. Perhaps other things were not in place, or a myriad of other reasons of which we just can not know or comprehend.
But we can know. For as we grapple with the sadness of losing a fetus , a baby, we can find solace in trusting in the journey of our once child to be. We can thank them for coming into our lives and bless them with our love. We can know beyond a doubt, that their arrival into our wombs, and the departure back into spirit before being born,  has brought great gifts and great purpose. We can know that we have been blessed with the presence of an angel, for however short the time.
With clients I have worked with, friends that have had this happen, and my own experience, it seems that often, this angel ,disguised as a brief spark of life inside us, stays with us for a time, or for our lives, or comes to us at a different time.
Everyone's life story and journey is different, and so there is no one right answer, or one right way of how and why and what happens,
but we can find love and forgiveness and hope  in the midst of our despair . We can share our stories and support one another,
and listen to the flutter of angel wings.

Off the mat.

OFF THE MAT

As a founder and owner, and now a co-owner of a wellness/fitness/dance/yoga center, I have had an opportunity to talk with and work with many yoga instructors. I have heard stories, and learned lot , even from the people that come through the door with an off handed interest. I remember one instructor who came in ,when I first opened, looking for  place to teach. I gladly showed her around and welcomed her to share her experience. When she crossed her arms and stated that she required 100 dollars an hour, I gently took her hand, and told her that perhaps this was not a fit for her.

Now years later, I am blessed beyond words to have some of the most beautiful, loving , giving people sharing their time , wisdom, and teachings of yoga at Masjah Center. Their classes are wonderful, and all different, and all nurturing and instructional. They attend workshops, and teacher trainings, and  honor their own practice.

But it is off the mat that I get a sense of their essence - what draws them to teach yoga, how they perceive life, and how yoga has helped them and changed their perspectives. The short conversations, the smiles in the hallway, the love emanating from them, the hugs, the trust. When life is hitting them, I know, because these people are real. Authentic. Human. 

When the stuff hits the fan for yogis,  they will go to their mat. But not always. Sometimes it requires digging in and getting stuff done. Facing the tough stuff that happens off the mat.

The commitment to practice and teach carries them through until the time they are able to peel off the layers and surrender.

And so, the mat becomes a place to go, a place to teach, but really, the teachings and experiences the state of samadhi, the humble allowing and exploration of one's inner landscapes in practice, permeate into everyday living, and everyday living becomes part of one's practice. 

 When I am actually able to take  a class - oh what a treat! My practice right now is in my teaching , and oh boy I am glad to land into the space of Masjah and settle onto the mat to teach a class. Most of  my own personal practice right now is in my yard, on my deck; a spontaneous sequence in the woods while walking my dogs; a few poses before I settle in with a morning coffee, and a lot of " off the mat" Yogi stuff. 

hmm... I will leave you pondering with just what that may be, as I must get ready now to teach. 

            "A mind free from all disturbance is Yoga." - The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali Y

Soga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured. 

B.K.S. Iyengar Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured see

B.K.S. Iyengar

Oh, Mom.

In this time of big shifts and  " Shift Happening", when the earth heaves with storms, and institutions crumble and then re define themselves, and more and more information- truths of our past and present- are being revealed,
I find myself at a crossroads like everyone else. Are we not ALWAYS on some kind of crossroad? Are we not always able to take another path? Does not the path always change? Yes and Yes and Yes!
But the  definition of who we think we are;  certainly who we are and what role we are playing in this lifetime, is partly determined by constants : Jobs, children, family, genetics, belief systems...
And so, a definition I have for myself is Mom. I have been Mom for 28 years, and  me as " Mom" will continue well past my lifetime, as I have four people in the world that define me now, and will carry on that definition. There is a constant for you!
Within the Mom role/ persona/definition ar an infinite , i think, number of supporting characters!!
 There's the Mom at home, the Mom who works, The sports Mom, the nurturing Mom, the tough love Mom, the not- so -great- at the moment mom- the super mom....... and these all go through constant metamorphosis as life changes, as children grow up and move into their own lives.
We teach our children. We give them skills and knowledge and cherish our moments. We create memories. We help prepare them for their lives; we learn from them. Our mission when they are growing up, seems to be, to get them out of the house! Send them on their way! Go, Go! Explore and do! The world is all for you! We say.
And then, when they are all ready and they are waving goodbye, we scream inside " No wait! I didnt mean it! " haha , or sometimes we do that.
Anyway, my last of four is a senior in high school, and my third in line graduates from college this year. Milestones. Passages.  Wow when did I get this old? When did this happen? I have said for many years: " When my last one walks across the stage, I am going to....."
I sit here now, saying,
Ok, what am I going to.....?
Dont get me wrong- I have lots to do! Places to go! Books to write, Teacher trainings to attend, a business to run, a life to lead!
But the " Freedom " I have been gazing at from afar, is not all sparkles and joy. Freedom comes at a cost.
A whole bunch of " mom " personas inside me are waving their protest flags, and yelling to Stop The Progression of Life.
I guess I will gather them together, the sports mom, the helicopter mom, the holding down the fort mom, the mom of babies and teens and birthday parties and school functions... I will gather them and love them, and tell them it is ok.
Times of shifting. Time for new mom personas to enter stage left. Traveling Mom, grandmother mom? oohh ok, not quite yet.... authentic self mom, mom- friend.....
Guess it is time for me to grow up too.. aha, and thats the thing!
Ok I got this!
I think I will now take my laundry to my moms because my washer broke.
Thanks, Mom.

who runs the world? girls.

Each night - sometimes I miss a night or two- I write an email for Project All Love In: helping families in need. For a donation of a monthly 5 dollars, people sign up for the emails and monies go toward helping families. We have a wonderful contact who works in the school system and takes our gifts of love and support to a family in need. 
On this Mother's day, we gifted a local single mom with a gift certificate from Stop & Shop.

I though I would share my Mother's Day email with everyone.

Rhianna's popular song, Who runs the world { Girls} is a catchy tune, but lets face it, if the world was REALLY run by women.. well, i need not say anymore.

Girls have so much power, we do not even know what to do with it.

The beautiful thing about girlpower is, we are usually laughing, talking, and doing 5 other things while we are wielding our magic powers.

We laugh at ourselves when finding ourselves in predicaments that, " Oh a man could do this so much better."

Like cars. Like lifting heavy objects.

When my car needed a jump start recently, I was rescued by two fearless female comrades, ready to take action! That's ok we had to look at the manual to find the hood release on her car. That's even ok we could not find the battery. No problem! Laughter ensued when we realized, well, let's go get the other's truck and see if we can do THAT.

And so, I waited, while they went back to the parking lot, climbed in the truck, and ventured back to my house. 

Ahh, well, we knew where the hood release was, but oh, where's the battery?

Should we enlist the male neighbor? NO!! We can do this!

And, we DID!

An alliance, a gathering of women on a mission. 

There were no lectures, no comparing cars, no worries we were missing a workout { we got the workout in}, no butting heads and no lingering at the site shooting the breeze.. 

we laughed, we did what was necessary, and we moved to the next project.

The next project was a half hour killer workout, from which we left sweaty and exhilarated, hugging each other and, 

moving on to the next project of feeding families, home, etc etc. 

You know, running the world stuff.

Today, Three women ventured up the highway on a road trip mission to pick up a piece of heavy equipment.

Armed with a caring husband's truck equipped with ropes and a caution banner, they barely even questioned if this task were possible. It just had to be done.

Upon lifting the equipment, anticipating great challenge, they discovered:

Oh, Not bad! We can do this! 

And into the pick they hoisted the 8 ft , heavy piece into the back of the pick up.

Laughter arose as they began to tie it down,

and a sense of " I am woman hear me roar" along with feelings of support and friendship; acceptance  and team work moved through them.

The greater task was to get the thing up the stairs to Masjah Center. 

They enlisted the kind husband, who came with a plan and a desire to help.

In the end,

They just simply picked the sucker up and hauled it up the stairs.

“ If you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.”
― Margaret Thatcher

Not only do women get it done, they do so with such a feeling of exhilaration. There may be smiles to one another- deep meaningful" I Get It, We did It" smiles. There may be high fives and YES! We did it! 

Or they may be quiet gratitudes. But there is always a feeling of poignant accomplishment,

as we do small things to disprove centuries of " women can't do that " belief systems.

We do small things like bringing children into the world, or nurturing one another. We create the space in which all things happen. We are deeply connected to our own mother earth and to one another, through our rhythms and cycles. We have a  deep knowing, and empathy. WE cry, we laugh, we hold the fort. We scream, we love, we brave through the storms.

We have the capacity, the inner power, and connection to the pulse of all, 

to run the world.

We just don't know it yet.

Have a beautiful Mother's Day. Be your own mother today, and take care of yourself. Have fun. Laugh. Wield your magic power, and weave your magic . 

“Women are a creative force. We are creative beings: our bodies are designed to give birth to creations, ideas, and beliefs — to bring things into fruition.”

—	Shine Blackhawk {And we can jump start a car, and haul big things around. But only when we have to.} Project ALL LOVE IN can be found on Masjah Center Website http://trac14.wix.com/the-masjah-center