Fifty Shades of Grey.

This book has become a phenomenon. One can hardly go anywhere without seeing someone reading it, carrying it, or buying it. I heard about it some time ago, when someone referenced it as a sex novel and that she could not put the book down. Hmmm. not particularly interested.
And then I began to hear more about it- women almost blushing and hushing as they admitted that they have read it.
I have this thing about NOT reading what everyone else is reading. I do not know why, I guess I just don't want to be reading what everyone else is- who knows. I resisted Hunger Games for quite some time until one of my daughters, who does not usually enjoy reading, declared that it is  MUST READ. Ah yes, I read it, and became hooked, like everyone else.

Similarly, one of my daughters, the one that is an avid reader, came home for the weekend with Fifty Shades in hand, and proceeded to lay on the couch to read.
" It's not that good, Mom", she said as she continued to read.
" I mean, it's ok- I need to keep reading to find out about Christian." and she continued to read.
" It's really about the relationship." she would say as she proceeded to finish the book and leave it on the coffee table.

I would pass the coffee table and look at it. Nope. Not tapping into this.
Then, one night, the book I was reading, about Sacred Sights on the planet just wasn't keeping my attention, and I picked up Fifty Shades and crawled into bed to see what all the hoopla was about.

Okay. So, besides the shock factor effect from the sex scenes,  and the intrigue of the relationship, I , always the sociologist, was very intrigued about just what it was about this book that had every other woman so enthralled.
There was an underlying feel that was disturbing to me- perhaps, I thought, because I have experienced relationships marked with elements of psychosis.... do other people feel like this, I thought?

The sex became kind of secondary to a theme that must ring true in many womens' lives:
The power struggle in relationships.   In the book, the male dominance is portrayed in the extreme sense, but we all have experienced dominant/submissive in some degree in our relations with family, friends and lovers.
On a bigger scale, the power struggle between masculine and feminine in society, in the world, and in our very own selves is a balance that we as humans strive to achieve.
As we explore the polarities within ourselves, we find our dark shadow self- the stuff we just do not like, and the lighter, higher vibrational self, aligned with what feels good and what our purpose here is.
We come upon our " darker" selves in our relationships so that we can explore, and heal, and help the other in their exploration and healing.
Sometimes this is awful. Sometimes it rocks us and we are hurt and devastated and move on. Or stay in it. Sometimes we work through it, discovering our own inner power and allowing the other to discover theirs. Sometimes this means staying together, sometimes it means going separate ways.

In any case, the mirroring effect does just what a mirror does: you get to take  a look at yourself- all the " good", and all the "bad".

What you see depends on your perspective.

And, in the book, we have the opportunity to  resonate with the strengths within ourselves, as we read about a strong willed, principled woman of integrity who falters, who battles the demons in her head- who observes the goddess part of her and the subconscious part, and follows her heart.

As for the sex, which is what most people/ women are talking about? Well, perhaps this opens an opportunity, in  the privacy of our own reading space, to validate that women are indeed sexual, sensual creatures. Note:  She has no children, dogs, cats, etc etc.... but the youthfulness, the excitement, the pure visceral feelings, must live , even if dormant, within women. To find a balance, to honor that side of us, while maintaining everyday living seems exhausting, if not impossible.

Hence, these books disappear off the shelves as fast as they are stacked in.

I am not saying you should go out and buy it and read it { hey many women have the series- you can borrow.} I know many many women who have no interest at all. Personally I have not read book two or three, perhaps I will not, but I was compelled to write some thoughts.

Besides,  don't we all want to see the "good girl win" ?