In the years of being an athlete in school, I certainly stretched, but most often it was in response to tightness as a result of sports and workouts. I was raised as a doer, and so although I would frolic in the woods and contemplate on the stars, and spend way too much time, according to my parents, simply sitting and being, or singing and dancing, I was always being pushed to be better. There had to be a goal in what I was doing. If I was dancing, it was for a recital. If I was playing a sport, then I was to be the captain, the MVP, and if not that, then I had better be doing my very very best. Of course, I was captain, and mvp, pleasing my parents and all who expected nothing less, but the balance was that I spent a lot of my teen years in quiet rebellion. Now, as I am feeling arthritis from a broken toe in soccer and many finger injuries from basketball, and have a wonderful relationship with my parents, I marvel at the webs we weave.
Moving from Athletics to the fitness industry , I took my drive with me, and entered the body building field as well as Pilates and many many other certifications ... All this while though, something else stirred inside. I wrote a book { unpublished to this day.. got close though!} I delved into Reiki, energy work, studied all religions, Learned from many teachers and masters as they really simply showed up for me- yes even in the fitness world i was in.
I found myself raising 4 kids on my own, and entered an amazing phase of immersion into all things! Native American wisdoms, magical happenings, Psychic medium, Shamanism, Massage, Reiki, Holistic Health Counseling , etc etc etc . My children were some of my best teachers , as they spoke of other lives, and made songs up about the four directions, looked to the stars and told me thats where they came from... It was a beautiful time indeed.
And somewhere in there, I began to take yoga classes. Oh Blessed am I that my mother in law used to take me to Canyon Ranch every March! One of my shaman initiations was at Kripalu, and I began to piece together my yoga teacher training, along with movement therapy, dance, Thai Yoga Massage, and Shamanic studies. So blessed to have many many teachers all around me!
Later travels to Peru and Greece, Mexico and astral travels/channeling and ever researching, always learning and observing, and being a part of a whole ONENESS. SO many amazing experiences and teachings that are too many to write here.
And so, upon being guided and blessed again with the Opening of Masjah Studios, which was less about me at all, and more of a community , { ha isn't that always the way anyway?} I was asked to teach yoga, by members who didn't like yoga.
And the more I taught, and practiced and tuned in; the more I just allowed and used the skills I had been taught, and knowledge I had acquired along the way, the more I realized that Yoga is not about teaching it or doing it, it is living it. It is a state of being. And I had really been living yoga all this time. So, yes, my body still resists back bends and many advanced postures are still challenging - ahem ok I admit , downright not happening right now!
The students who came at first were the ones who's mantra was " I hate yoga, but I will try it. " They were and are the ones with back issues, frozen shoulders, tight hamstrings, chattering minds, stressed out bodies. They aren't wearing the latest trends in Yoga wear. They do not care about the sanskrit names or being part of the "in crowd " . They come for peace, for relief , and to feel good. To learn how to open their shoulders and protect their backs. And as they practice, they have some breakthroughs. But many, who come each week, are content with the subtle feelings of ahhhhhh. They come to practice in a place of acceptance , where they do not have to do anything, or be any certain way. Not to say we don't have some experienced yogis, but what is experienced anyway? We are all really always just being where we are.
They are the embodiment of what yoga is all about. I bow to them, for they all have been my greatest teachers. I well up with tears at the end of every class and thank each and every one for coming, for as they learn, so do I. We bring each other such gifts of ourselves.
And so it is in personal training, or healing work, or spinning, dance, and, every encounter with every person. It is this Oneness thing that we think we get but if we think at all, then we lose it.
It is what happens on the mat. and off the mat. It is what happens whether you can " correctly" execute a posture { which I do not believe there really is such a thing } or are just breathing. It is what happens when you are washing dishes or shopping or hugging or crying. It is what " happens" every second of every day, and every breath.
Connection. Oneness. It happens anyway, but yoga- doing, being, living it- allows us to be AWARE of our breath, our bodies, our mind chatter, our challenges and breakthroughs, and all of our wonderfulness and silliness and simply be there with it. no judgment. just acceptance. just love.
Way Cool, as one of my nephews would say.
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