Oh, Mom.

In this time of big shifts and  " Shift Happening", when the earth heaves with storms, and institutions crumble and then re define themselves, and more and more information- truths of our past and present- are being revealed,
I find myself at a crossroads like everyone else. Are we not ALWAYS on some kind of crossroad? Are we not always able to take another path? Does not the path always change? Yes and Yes and Yes!
But the  definition of who we think we are;  certainly who we are and what role we are playing in this lifetime, is partly determined by constants : Jobs, children, family, genetics, belief systems...
And so, a definition I have for myself is Mom. I have been Mom for 28 years, and  me as " Mom" will continue well past my lifetime, as I have four people in the world that define me now, and will carry on that definition. There is a constant for you!
Within the Mom role/ persona/definition ar an infinite , i think, number of supporting characters!!
 There's the Mom at home, the Mom who works, The sports Mom, the nurturing Mom, the tough love Mom, the not- so -great- at the moment mom- the super mom....... and these all go through constant metamorphosis as life changes, as children grow up and move into their own lives.
We teach our children. We give them skills and knowledge and cherish our moments. We create memories. We help prepare them for their lives; we learn from them. Our mission when they are growing up, seems to be, to get them out of the house! Send them on their way! Go, Go! Explore and do! The world is all for you! We say.
And then, when they are all ready and they are waving goodbye, we scream inside " No wait! I didnt mean it! " haha , or sometimes we do that.
Anyway, my last of four is a senior in high school, and my third in line graduates from college this year. Milestones. Passages.  Wow when did I get this old? When did this happen? I have said for many years: " When my last one walks across the stage, I am going to....."
I sit here now, saying,
Ok, what am I going to.....?
Dont get me wrong- I have lots to do! Places to go! Books to write, Teacher trainings to attend, a business to run, a life to lead!
But the " Freedom " I have been gazing at from afar, is not all sparkles and joy. Freedom comes at a cost.
A whole bunch of " mom " personas inside me are waving their protest flags, and yelling to Stop The Progression of Life.
I guess I will gather them together, the sports mom, the helicopter mom, the holding down the fort mom, the mom of babies and teens and birthday parties and school functions... I will gather them and love them, and tell them it is ok.
Times of shifting. Time for new mom personas to enter stage left. Traveling Mom, grandmother mom? oohh ok, not quite yet.... authentic self mom, mom- friend.....
Guess it is time for me to grow up too.. aha, and thats the thing!
Ok I got this!
I think I will now take my laundry to my moms because my washer broke.
Thanks, Mom.